Laugh Out Loud

As a little girl, I was always curious.Whatever people were doing, I needed to know why they were doing it and I had to experience it for myself. I watched my mom a lot and needed to know why she did the things that she did or had the things that she had…….aaaannnnd I got in trouble for my curiosity. For instance, I’m guilty of eating multiple pieces of “candy” from her purse one night. Each piece was colorful. Each piece was sweet. After one would dissolve, I would press another one out of the foil as I watched my VHS of recorded music videos from “Video Soul.” The consequences of my actions was that those sweet pieces were not candy at all….they were laxatives!!!! Oh the horror!!! My mom still laughs at me.

Another example would be going through my mother’s mail and completing forms that I had no business filling out. I remember believing the slogan that I could get 10 CDs for ONLY 99 cents! I was so confident that I filled out 2 forms. I could afford to give $2. Out of those 20 CDs, I ordered No Doubt, Aaliyah, Subway and some rap music…perhaps a Celine Dion album too. I was feeling ecstatic!!…until my momma got the bill in the mail. Turns out that it was a lot more that $2.

How does this apply to mental health? Life is not always easy, but somewhere in the rubble is a LOT of laughs. For me, I have a lot of memories that can shut my whole day down. Memories that have left a lasting impression to the point where I can be to scared to put one foot in front of the other. But in spite of all the muck and mire lies memories that will keep me laughing about life.

It’s ok to laugh and to do it out loud!!!

I will leave you with this. I have always suffered from low self esteem. But I remember in middle school that I was in “strong like” with a boy whose name I will not mention.He never knew my “feelings for him.” We had indoor recess and some girls challenged me to race them in the gym. I was a fast runner. I heard, “On your mark! Get set! Go!” We were off! I ran full speed ahead. Suddenly, I caught a glimpse of him and my eyes stayed on him. I forgot that I was running…..BAM! Full speed ahead into the gym wall. Do you think he noticed me? Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Everything that you have experienced in life is what makes you YOU! The good times and the bad times. These were uncomfortable moments, but I am so grateful that I have them. SMILE and LAUGH OUT LOUD!

Psalm 139:14

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.

Lions. Tigers……and Motherhood? Oh my!

If you have seen the infamous movie “The Wizard of Oz,” you can probably remember when Dorothy and her three found friends were wandering through the woods. They were following the yellow brick road trying to get to the wizard. This was a man who “would” provide the one special gift they thought they were missing; brain, a heart, a home and “the nerve (courage).” I love this movie because each character goes down a long journey together, lost together and yet discover  together that what they wanted so desperately was already in their possession.

At the beginning of Dorothy’s journey, she’s so excited to walk (or joyfully skip) down this unknown road. It seemed so simple. The people were cheering, singing songs, and giving her gifts. What was there to worry about? When my husband and I married, we had everything planned out. The house was bought, we were college educated, we took a cruise…hey life couldn’t be sweeter. Only one thing left…start a family.  In our heads, we planned for healthy and beautiful looking kids. I don’t think anyone looks to God and prays for anything different. I could be wrong. Anyway, I just knew motherhood was for me! At the time I was a nursery director for my church, wanted to start a daycare, and LOVED to babysit. My point of view toward parents, at the time, was “Is yelling at your kids the answer? It’s better to get down on their level and look them in the eye.” Oh yeah. In my head I had it all together. Motherhood was calling my name. I was Dorothy; skipping down the yellow brick road.

I had the idea of motherhood together but no one could prepare my heart. No one told me that trying to get pregnant wouldn’t happen “in a snap” just because I planned it to be so. No one told me that when my 1st born was 6 months old that he would have an asthma attack and have to have a breathing machine to breath for him. No one told me that my 2nd born would be taken from me immediately after birth because she swallowed her meconium. No one told me that at 6 months old that she would some how develop “dysphagia (difficulty swallowing)” (go figure) and have to be on a feeding tube for the next 6-7 months. Some could read this and say, “That’s it? That’s all you had to go through?”  I am aware that a large number of families experience different events.  But see, I’m not caught up in comparison. In these events my heart was torn into pieces. I thought I would never see my son again. I was torn to pieces hearing my daughter’s “tummy” growl, have dry diapers for days and she’d refuse to eat. It felt like no one understood me…not just A mother…but their mother. Glenda gave trinkets of advice to Dorothy, but Dorothy’s heart may have not changed until she went through the wilderness.

It was then when I really found Jesus. He had always come through for me, but this was different. It is through my children that I see Him more. It is through Him that I find the strength and courage to trust. Proverbs 15:22 tells us to seek Godly counsel. It takes courage to tell someone that you are scared, uncertain, angry or confused. It takes courage to go to someone for prayer and ask for help. I am thankful that their were so many people praying with us and caring for us …oh to have community! I rely on these people even now. Dorothy ran into some dark places, but she had the support of others helping her along the way. They looked different and spoke differently, but they all needed each other to survive it.

Today, I have 2 healthy, beautiful, goofy kids and one on the way. Christ is my home and “there’s no place like” His presence. I have seen some of my friends go through some of the most traumatic situations and yet…they still give God praise. They have taught me that He is still worthy of praise even when things don’t go as we planned. So life goes on. 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment….”

The lions, tigers and bears of motherhood are those unforeseen circumstances that no one prepares or prays for in life. Whether it’s that 1st scraped knee, 1st bully, 1st cold, 1st time you lose your temper or 1st news of a traumatic diagnosis; God never promised us the “perfect life.” He never promised us to never feel pain. Many of us know 1 Peter 5:8, but let’s focus on verses 9-11.

 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

What Truth?

Wow! Has it really been over a year since I have posted anything?! Lol.

Last year I had this idea that I wanted to start a blog. I wanted to talk about my experiences as a Christian therapist and stay at home mom. I wanted to inspire people to “get well” and “feel better.” The idea was great to me. I had the passion and writing capability. I had the background and the research. “Anew Sense 57” was born. Well, what happened?

I don’t know about you, but there is a habit that I can quickly clutch when it comes to confidence, passion, things I want to do, and so on and so forth. The habit is negative thinking. There are times when I could look great on the outside (“Oh, she’s got it together!”) but on the inside, the feeling was negative. It’s interesting. Being negative takes up so much time, that no matter how much time could be used to be productive, energy is literally drained. There’s no energy for anything else, because the brain and body has been depleted.

This was and is completely frustrating….a nuisance. I needed to be refreshed. While reading my Bible, I came across the scripture  from Galatians 5:7.”You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?” For years, I blamed it on past experiences like childhood, society, and the busyness of life getting in the way. You’ve heard the saying, “If you repeat or hear something long enough, you begin to believe it.” At the end of the day, I have to choose what truth I am going to believe. It just so happens that for the majority of us, the negative easily become the truth. Our own reasoning becomes truth.

For years, I lived the lie of “Well if you are a therapist, especially a Christian therapist, you should not struggle.” What a prideful statement huh? Is there even a need for Jesus Christ and salvation if I am so perfect that I can fix myself? Is there a need to “fix my eyes” on Jesus Christ, if my being is based on what I can do? The truth is, having an identity that is solely based on the responses of others or my works (or what I accomplish or don’t accomplish in life) will lead me…..hmmm….no where, stagnant and full of excuses.  

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Real life is a “struggle” no matter what position you have in life. None of us are perfect. There is only One and it is He who sets our path.  It is up to us….it is up to me to LIVE out what I have been called to do. So get up with a renewed mind, a new passion, and a new love….Jesus Christ. With all the changes of the world, I still believe. Is He bigger than my fears? Is He bigger than what I have been through? Does He provide me with all that I need? Is He the keeper of His word? If the answer is yes, then let’s make moves. Allow Him to take the lead.

Meditation of the Week:

Proverbs 15:4 says, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”

Speak life. We have the gift to do so.